WAKING UP

Many people are asleep. If you're reading this you are probably somewhere along the spectrum of waking up. Being asleep is being in a state of denial. Those who are sleeping don't like to hear the truth. Those who are sleeping let other people around them handle their responsibilities. OR they handle the responsibilities of others who are "asleep at the wheel". Anyone who has attended a 12 step meeting such as AA, NA, OA or ALANON has experienced he process of waking up. Anyone who comes into psychotherapy with a problem that they can no longer deal with alone, is in the process of waking up. Where are you on this spectrum right now? Usually we can pinpoint times in our lives when things fell apart just enough for us to "wake up". That is a painful process. It's like having the bandaid ripped off or worse. I remember when I woke up to the truth about my marriage 23 years ago. It was a pain that is indescribable. After years of trying to make something work that could not and would not, I faced the truth. I would have to get out of that marriage at any cost, even though my children were still babies.

Waking up is facing the truth about your situation. It's admitting what your weight is today by getting on the scale. It's admitting that a loved one has a drug or alcohol problem. It's admitting that your child has a disability that will be lifelong and will not go away. Waking up hurts and it's unpleasant but those who are in a constant sleep state are hiding it with drugs, food, alcohol or any other form of denial. It can be as simple as "walking around in a fog", feeling "confused" all the time or deferring important decisions to others.

Waking up is a process and it usually involves realizing that you cannot handle something all by yourself and that you will need help even if you don't like to ask for help. That is the first step. Look back over your life and identify those times when you were in denial for awhile. How did you wake up? How did you begin the process of healing? What kind of programs or services did you engage in order to get through it with the assistance of others? Did that work? Did that help? It's common to keep a problem to yourself for a long time until you just can't anymore. Many take a step toward waking up and the reality is just too painful so they retreat again. They may just not be ready to handle the pain that goes with it. Everything in it's own time. Be patient with others as they go through their own process with these things is important. Just focus on what it is that you are avoiding instead of trying to wake someone else up. If you find yourself doing that then look in the mirror and ask "What am I avoiding? What do I need to attend to and how?"



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