The Next Step

What would your life look like if you were to take every aspect of it to the next level? Think about the various areas of your life. In your marriage or primary relationship what would take the two of you to the next level in your connection with each other. Do you need to have more trust, better communication or more time together? At work, what's the next step? Would you like to get a better office, be assigned to more interesting projects or have a better relationship with your boss?

When "setting goals" we often make the mistake of aiming too high too soon. If we leap from point A to point B, the stages that are necessary to get there might be skipped. Cutting corners causes problems later on. An obvious analogy is losing weight. If we lose a large amount in too short a time it's harder to keep the weight off for a lifetime because drastic measures were used to get to the goal. You've probably heard the saying "the journey is more important than the destination". Once you're clear on where you're going, the steps become more evident and life becomes more satisfying when you take the steps and you know that you're going in the right direction. That's equally as important as getting to the destination.

In order to know what your next steps are you must look at your life today without judgment. On the other hand, if you're in a situation that isn't working out you might not want to take it to the next level at all. Those can be the hardest decisions to make. It's natural to want to keep going up some sort of ladder. If you're in a relationship that has many problems and you decide to get married anyway or to have a child together with the hope that these steps will make you closer, the opposite is usually what happens. The "ingredients" need to be of the highest quality. If you have low grade ingredients you'll have a low quality product.

The small problems that might have seemed insignificant can become major problems when a relationship moves forward. Sometimes the alternative to deepening a commitment is to let the relationship go. Since that's such a painful option, people often choose to get married to avoid the pain of breaking up. They hope that the commitment of marriage will force them to overcome problems that can't be overcome.

If a house is built on a shaky foundation eventually things will begin to fall apart. No matter what area of life we're looking at these rules (above) apply. It's important to stay in reality and to take the next logical step, whatever that is. Try breaking down the different areas of your life on a piece of paper. Then draw an arrow from each area to a word or sentence that describes the next step. Perhaps there are two opposing steps like, " start looking at advertisements for a new job, or "speak to my boss about taking on a new project". If you do both at the same time, the direction might become clearer through the process. It's always good to have a plan B.

If there is an area that's blank and you wish there was something there, figure out what the first step is to making it a reality. For instance, if the leisure category or your social life is next to nonexistent, then think about what the very first action would be to fill that space up on the paper. What areas of your life take up most of your energy? Are you satisfied with that? Shifting the amount of energy that you put into one area, to another area can also be an important step. It's helpful to look at all areas of life at once in order to get a broad perspective. Once you see it from an areal view you might gain some insights into your level of satisfaction and ways to reduce stress.








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