Often when a person strives to be thin and even becomes obsessed with it, the real desire is simply to be happy. The belief is that thin = happy and being thin really has nothing at all to do with happiness. Many times I have lost weight and reached a goal and I am no happier than when I was heavier. Happier with yourself? Maybe, for a moment, or on particular days, but the belief that being thin will make you a happy person can be dangerous. Many women believe that they won't have success with men until or unless they lose weight. If you look at all the people in good, healthy relationships, you will notice that they cover a wide range of weight and size. Love doesn't require a dress size.

Weight becomes a convenient excuse to avoid doing things no matter what your weight is. "I'll do that when I'm thinner", "I'll shop there when I'm a size ____", "I'll start dating after I lose weight". When we set up this obstacle, it becomes the reason not to move forward. It becomes our safety net so that we don't have to take the risks we really want to take.

Our desire is really to be happy and to be loved and to be connected to others and to our faith.
When you can separate food from all the other stuff, weight loss becomes more of a science and less of an emotional issue.





psychotherapist and life coach
Debbie Simon, LCSWR
www.lowermanhattanpsychotherapy.com