BEING AUTHENTIC

Whenever we pretend to be someone that we are not, people can either see through the act or they sense that we are not being authentic. I grew up in an extremely affluent area but my father had a low paying government job. I began to form a distorted opinion about where I fit in this world. It was the only world I knew at that time. I had no exposure to what was outside, other than driving through neighborhoods.

I left home at a young age, and experienced poverty because I had no idea how to make it on my own. I found myself homeless in NYC at the age of 19. That experience then shaped a new reality for me.

I found my way back to college and went on to graduate school. After becoming a masters level social worker in 1986, I was exposed to a whole group of clients that I had never worked with personally before. The clients grew up on welfare and had parents on disability (SSI). When the children hit 18 they applied for SSI. It's just how things were in that community and for the people I worked with and came to know, love and respect. Incarceration, domestic violence, HIV, mental illness, heroin addiction and child and sex abuse were the norm among my clients. I began to see their issues in a very different light. I learned to see them as strong human beings tackling impossible odds, instead of needy, dependent people, as the world often does. The experiences they were exposed to in terms of abuse, trauma, and deprivation opened my eyes to a whole new reality that so many people grow up in. Of course these issues are known across all socio-economic and cultural lines, but for this group...they seemed to have more than their fair share.

If a plant is never nurtured and doesn't have soil to grow in, it will shrink and die or live marginally. There is always that rare plant that grows under any conditions. For some people, life is a horror from a very young age.

The point is, we often feel shame as a result of our childhood experiences and that makes us want to pretend that we are someone other than who we are. Once we can see our past for what it was and what it wasn't we can gain more respect for ourselves for having survived what we endured. We can also have more compassion for others who have gone through something different or something that seems worse.

Lack, deprivation, starvation, and poverty are ideas that are instilled in us from birth, even if our families have money and wealth. We have to heal the wounds and recover in order to move to a higher level of existence. Money, health, quality food and love are all forms of energy that we receive. Those who never learned to receive because of they only knew lack and deprivation in the past have a difficult time in their adult lives unless they seek professional help and take measures toward healing on every level.

We are all enough when we are born. We are "enough" throughout our lives in spite of our experiences. We are perfect beings just as we are and the experiences that we are having today are exactly the ones that we are supposed to be having.

Letting go of the hurt and pain of the past is a long process. It takes courage and fortitude to stay on a path of healing. There needs to be a spiritual connection between you and something that you believe to be greater in order to have faith. Few people are able to face their demons and experience the pain necessary to heal. If you are one of the courageous few, you are fortunate. If you know people who lack this courage to face themselves then have compassion for them. Don't judge anyone. We never know exactly what they have gone through in their lives.